I’ve been waiting my entire life. I didn’t have the slightest idea what I was waiting for when I was little but I knew something was missing. I used to get panicked about going on trips or leaving the house because I felt certain I might miss out on this mysterious something that I was waiting for.
I remember sitting in church and hearing 2 Peter 3:8. “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” Am I the only one who doesn’t particularly want to wait a thousand years? A thousand years? I’m horrible at waiting! I get so discouraged at the speed or lack of speed in which my prayers are being answered! But… Almost all of my prayers have been answered! I should find the most profound peace in that but like a tiny child I scream and stomp my feet and just throw all my joy out the window. What if. What if you say no. What if everything falls apart? What if, God??? Lord, please help me to trust your timing. Help me to learn patience and stop trying to do it myself.
Be faithful in what I’ve given you. Why do I even need more? What am I actually hungry for? All I want in the depths of my soul is to have enough in my bank account to care for every person and animal God brings me. My job pays almost nothing, like less than nothing, but God placed me here and every time I want to leave God brings me back with a renewed love 💕 I always thought it was the animals, but it’s also the people. Very wonderful, complicated, hurting and growing people and I love them. They have challenged my overwhelming desire to run away. They have hurt my feelings, questioned my abilities, pushed me to grow, lifted me up, held my hand, but most importantly they have been God placed. Part of the thousand God promised.
My fear is not faith. God has never failed me. I’m getting texts asking when I’m going to church this morning and the idea that I’m on the mind of these spectacular people is one of a million examples of God’s grace for me and my little family✨ I’m taking the clothes out of the dryer and just feel consumed with love as a plastic eyeball, an orange and 97 quarters fall out and cover the ground. My loneliness has been completely erased. I have little notes all over the house and in my mailbox at work from my daughter, every one saying how much she loves me! Hundreds. How could I ever question your love for me God?
My timeline belongs to me not God. I am actually moving at an astronomical speed if you consider where I used to be. I am blessed and trying my hardest and I’m absolutely the best person I have ever been. I can’t wait to see what God brings me this year! My last wishes are “only God” ones and when those happen it’s the most wonderful thing in the world💕
HeidiBond❤ 