Everything is fast now. Once kids are older the world suddenly opens up and is filled to overflowing with school, pool, new people, endless wants! Summer has a new meaning to me and honestly, I am tired. I feel pretty disconnected too. I’ve been here before so I know it will be ok but last night I tossed and turned until I was completely tangled in my sheets. What’s happening here God? Things are changing, Heidi. Again.
I started my Instagram forever ago. I did the typical mommy posts, 19 billion pictures of my daughter and our adventures, and all of our animals. Lately, I felt like I needed to get off social media. It’s such a drain and was beginning to be my go-to when I wanted to check out. Well, I ignored that feeling and then one morning I woke up to find my account banned!! Someone doesn’t like me so much that they reported my account. I’m flattered and grateful. Plus I can post all my pictures here so… There is bliss in misery.
I’m ready, God. I know we need these adventures, I know everything is about to change, and I know I’m proud of myself. I just don’t know exactly what comes next. I was listening to these amazing speakers and they spoke of how opportunities come as a result of connection. It’s like God whispers your name in someone’s ear, and doors are opened. I hope it’s true for me❤️ I’m having to step up and choose joy when I’m terrified. I’m getting to see my strength in a world where it is just me. I am the one who will bring that joy. I am facing my fears and STILL deciding that it is going to be a good day!
There is magic all around us. I got to see the Milky Way! It was such an amazing moment. It was 4am and I was standing outside praying to see a shooting star in the middle of the desert. Then I turned around and I was so in awe. I said yes and I was filled. Life is so short and you get to choose each moment! We don’t realize that even on our worst days we get to choose. I’m going to have moments of garbage! Moments where some random person tries to hurt me because they are probably hurting. Or days when absolutely nothing is going my way but that’s magical as well. I get to choose to be happy anyway. None of it matters. The person behind their keyboard feeling angry at our happiness decides to take it away but you can’t take anything away from me. I’m not impacted by those things.
Something big is coming for us. What it is I don’t know. But I know I’m ready💕 Scared but ready. I tell my daughter that every day. You are going to be scared! Do it anyway! Feel that fear and look it in the eye and do it anyway. My decree for this year…It WILL be good! Even if I’m scared🌟
I love you God. Thank you for this life and all it brings. Help me to be strong and see the beauty around me on the hard days. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving my daughter. Thank you for this life.
Life can be unbearably painful at times and that’s ok❤️
HeidiBond❤ 