Dreaming🌺

Some of my deepest dreams have come true but they came true with the caveat of release. You will live your dream, Heidi, but it will be fleeting because none of these things belong to you. You will live on the ranch with the 50 horses, but you will just be helping, and you will …

Radiant✨

When I watch my daughter dance, all legs and limbs, I feel the most indescribable love mixed with a soft sadness for my own little self. She dances for joy. She has zero worries. She leaps and rolls and flails with the confidence of a professional. She is secure in her identity. She is never …

What is life✨

I look around at people and the world and wonder what shaped them. I see my past filled with absolute terror and I look at my present where I feel so proud of who I have become. Life is so interesting and odd. I was reading one my my favorite authors Alain De Bottom and …

Jesus answered.

I was reading this book that I didn’t want to read and came across the line “We’d rather have the questions than the answers” I sat there realizing how much of my life that encompassed. I keep asking the same questions over and over instead of hearing the answer. Obviously, like a child, I just …

Are you willing to wait?

I’ve been waiting my entire life. I didn’t have the slightest idea what I was waiting for when I was little but I knew something was missing. I used to get panicked about going on trips or leaving the house because I felt certain I might miss out on this mysterious something that I was …

Yes

I started saying yes to God reluctantly. It wasn’t a yes in the beginning. I had no other options, so my yes became the only answer possible. There was a fair amount of screaming and foot stomping in the beginning. I remember when I was in the bath in the depths of hell. I was …

Signs

God, if my dreams are going to come true, let me see an orange starfish. ✨️ I was driving down the road literally panicking about the future, and I asked God to show me signs that it would be ok. We drove and drove on our way to a festival that I was much too …

God told me to run😳

I am tired. Exhausted, actually. I work teaching kids how to ride horses, and many of the kids I teach have disabilities. I also homeschool and am an only parent and have what feels like 9000 animals. I recently told God how tired I was, and I heard “run.” Run? Ha! Yes, well, I haven’t …

In between miracles.

I write these lists of things I dream about or that I would love to do, and I tuck them into the pages of my bible. I write my prayers. It amazed me recently to see that I had checked off 90% of the ones I had written. Some were easy, like an adventure I …

Can you hear me, Jesus?

I am in a new chapter. The experiencing God chapter. Well, the, I am seeking God with all of my heart chapter. I am seeking God above everything. I never realized that if you are seeking God, it is because he is seeking you. I never ever knew that that desire does not come from …