Future Perfect ✨

Everything is fast now. Once kids are older the world suddenly opens up and is filled to overflowing with school, pool, new people, endless wants! Summer has a new meaning to me and honestly, I am tired. I feel pretty disconnected too. I’ve been here before so I know it will be ok but last …

What is life✨

I look around at people and the world and wonder what shaped them. I see my past filled with absolute terror and I look at my present where I feel so proud of who I have become. Life is so interesting and odd. I was reading one my my favorite authors Alain De Bottom and …

Jesus answered.

I was reading this book that I didn’t want to read and came across the line “We’d rather have the questions than the answers” I sat there realizing how much of my life that encompassed. I keep asking the same questions over and over instead of hearing the answer. Obviously, like a child, I just …

Are you willing to wait?

I’ve been waiting my entire life. I didn’t have the slightest idea what I was waiting for when I was little but I knew something was missing. I used to get panicked about going on trips or leaving the house because I felt certain I might miss out on this mysterious something that I was …

Yes

I started saying yes to God reluctantly. It wasn’t a yes in the beginning. I had no other options, so my yes became the only answer possible. There was a fair amount of screaming and foot stomping in the beginning. I remember when I was in the bath in the depths of hell. I was …

In between miracles.

I write these lists of things I dream about or that I would love to do, and I tuck them into the pages of my bible. I write my prayers. It amazed me recently to see that I had checked off 90% of the ones I had written. Some were easy, like an adventure I …

Mom 12/21/23

My mom died at 1:32 this morning. She had gone to the hospital a week earlier with a very small stroke but had been home for 4 days. She was happy and laughing and so beautifully clear. She told us all she loved us and everything seemed so happy. Yesterday, around lunchtime she really wanted …

Can you hear me, Jesus?

I am in a new chapter. The experiencing God chapter. Well, the, I am seeking God with all of my heart chapter. I am seeking God above everything. I never realized that if you are seeking God, it is because he is seeking you. I never ever knew that that desire does not come from …

Grief

My heart hurts. I can’t breathe. I will be ok in a little bit, but right now, sadness just floods my being. My mom looked completely herself 3 years ago. If you saw her today, you would think she was her mother. She has a genetic (apparently) type of dementia. She is disappearing right in …

Magical words

I find my clarity in the silence of early mornings, I get my coffee and I usually write or pray. For a very long time I have prayed for a protector. For as long as I can remember, I have sought out a person who would bring me peace; a sense of safety. That soul …