What is life✨

I look around at people and the world and wonder what shaped them. I see my past filled with absolute terror and I look at my present where I feel so proud of who I have become. Life is so interesting and odd. I was reading one my my favorite authors Alain De Bottom and …

Jesus answered.

I was reading this book that I didn’t want to read and came across the line “We’d rather have the questions than the answers” I sat there realizing how much of my life that encompassed. I keep asking the same questions over and over instead of hearing the answer. Obviously, like a child, I just …

Are you willing to wait?

I’ve been waiting my entire life. I didn’t have the slightest idea what I was waiting for when I was little but I knew something was missing. I used to get panicked about going on trips or leaving the house because I felt certain I might miss out on this mysterious something that I was …

Fear

Everything that matters. Everything you will remember forever comes with a heavy dose of fear. Fear is actually so magical… It’s tied to wonder and wonder will always keep you enthralled. I need these emotions to feel, to feel alive. The wonder of seeing something beautiful or unexpected, the fear when trying something new or …

Signs

God, if my dreams are going to come true, let me see an orange starfish. ✨️ I was driving down the road literally panicking about the future, and I asked God to show me signs that it would be ok. We drove and drove on our way to a festival that I was much too …

God told me to run😳

I am tired. Exhausted, actually. I work teaching kids how to ride horses, and many of the kids I teach have disabilities. I also homeschool and am an only parent and have what feels like 9000 animals. I recently told God how tired I was, and I heard “run.” Run? Ha! Yes, well, I haven’t …

In between miracles.

I write these lists of things I dream about or that I would love to do, and I tuck them into the pages of my bible. I write my prayers. It amazed me recently to see that I had checked off 90% of the ones I had written. Some were easy, like an adventure I …

Grief

My heart hurts. I can’t breathe. I will be ok in a little bit, but right now, sadness just floods my being. My mom looked completely herself 3 years ago. If you saw her today, you would think she was her mother. She has a genetic (apparently) type of dementia. She is disappearing right in …

My precious baby.

Sweet girl. I love you. I love you fiercely and protectively and beyond what the word love even encompasses. I have held your little self for 8 years. 8 years of sleeping 2 inches from you, 8 years of arguing about candy, 8 years of adventures that have been magical sometimes and often questionable. My …

Magical words

I find my clarity in the silence of early mornings, I get my coffee and I usually write or pray. For a very long time I have prayed for a protector. For as long as I can remember, I have sought out a person who would bring me peace; a sense of safety. That soul …